I consider myself to be someone who's willing to take on a challenge, try new things and step out of my comfort zone.
By way of evidence to this, I've jumped out of airplanes (by myself not strapped to someone else), bungee jumped, hurtled down mountains on my bike, I've been carried off a mountain in the Himalayas with altitude sickness, I've cycled through South Africa when even the bike shop I bought my gear from told me I'd be mugged and killed, I've swum (and survived) grade five rapids and nights sleeping in the snow, fished for piranhas (in the water in bare feet) and swum with great whites ... but this weekend I was going down to Cockle Creek to face two terrifying monster, and I don't mind admitting I was scared...
|The Monsters of Cockle Creek|
DISCLAIMER: This blog may have very little attachment to the actual truth.
Anyway, knowing full well that I would be facing these monsters , I devised a devious plan - I'd take them down a deep, dark cave (namely Exit Cave) and see if I could lose them ...
|That's right, trust me ... just go a bit further ...|
|keep going .. into the nice dark hole.|
|The dark zone ... it's dark.|
|This was to be the last picture of the monsters ...|
I made it blurry deliberately, honest.
|Deep in the cave ... taken with a 30second exposure and a very bright bike light.|
|The Monsters not realising how close to eternal entrapment they had come.|
|This one reminded me of those statue monsters from Doctor Who|
that can only move when you aren't looking at them ...
|Every time I picked up my camera, she would freeze|
in position with a big smile on her face.
|Some of the forest on the way out.|
|On the way out I came across this pile of shoes.|
I suspect they're from previous travellers that had been devoured by the Monsters.
Over the next 36 hours I tried everything I could to dispose of the Monsters, I truly did.
I spent hours encouraging them to play with fire, going through over four boxes of matches, but not one of them so much as got a burnt finger.
|Monster one trying to light the fire like in Survivor ...|
I soon had him onto matches and meths as an alternative.
I tried stuffing them with so much chocolate and sugar that their heads should have exploded ... nothing, they just asked for more.
|Monster 2 eating burning marshmallows four at a time.|
|That's right step into the water ... it's really, really safe.|
|Operation: Send them into the current to be swept out to sea.|
|Me looking at the bottom, not noticing that I'm getting swept out to sea.|
|The closest I could come to a shark.|
I even took then around to play with a whale in the hope that they might get squashed ... again nothing but two live, frisky monsters.
Running out of ideas, I took them to hastings cave thermal pool and hoped they'd get drowned. Who knew monsters could swim?
At the end of my ideas, I made one last attempt ... I took them to the Ida Bay Railway and tried to run one of them over in the train. Again failure.
|That's right, just lie right there ...|
|This is it, I've got him ...|
|... but no, apparently monsters have the ability to avoid trains|
that thunder along at 4 kms/hr.
Yep, seems the only power I have over these monsters is the ability to freeze one of them in place by pointing a camera at her ...
I'm afraid at the end of the weekend, it was Monsters: 2, Me: 0.