Posted by Dear Qantas,
I just wanted to write and thank you for my recent flight with your airline.
Well, when I say with your airline, I obviously don’t mean with your airline … as in Qantas.
But that’s obvious to you … right?
I mean, yes, I did book my ticket online through your website and, yes, when I was sent my “QANTAS E-Ticket Itinerary & Receipt” it did say …
… right there on the top of it.
And yes, in my defense, it then did go right on to suggest I was Flying with You and that I should visit qantas.com/checkin … to choose the best check-in option …
… and can you believe this (and it will make you laugh) I actually thought this meant I was flying with you on a Qantas flight.
I know … ridiculous right.
I feel stupid even mentioning it.
Certainly after standing in the Qantas check in queue for ten minutes, I could tell by the way your check in staff member said “But your first flight is a JQ flight … you have to go in and check in with Jetstar” that this is something that every intelligent human being on earth should have known …
I mean she is right, it does clearly say Flight Number JQ724 …
How dumb am I to not realise this means I should go and check in at Jetstar … it’s not like I’ve ever been on a Jetstar flight where you welcome your Qantas code-share passengers who booked through … say your Qantas site and received Qantas tickets…
I will confess that I am a bit pedantic about these things and I have now read your full nine pages of terms and conditions that you sent me with my ticket, which, just as a reminder was titled (in very big letters…)
… and I’m still struggling to find something, anything, that might suggest I should go and check in at Jetstar.
But I like to think I’m a positive person and I feel sorry for your airline which does (strangely) seem to be losing a bucket load of money as your passengers desert you (I, like you, can’t understand why), and while I don’t want to pretend I’m some marketing guru, just as a suggestion, maybe you could add this to the email you send out with your tickets …
Dear John,
Thank you for booking with us (God knows we need the money). But look, now that we’ve got your booking, I have to be honest with you and say that we’ve gone and put you on a Jetstar flight anyway, so if you wouldn’t mind … hop on over to their counter when you get to the airport and check in with them.
Our staff don’t like to have to deal with Jetstar customers and we know you’d hate to stand in two check-in queues (God knows it’s bad enough standing in the one) so if you could do that for us, it would be tickety-boo.
Love and cuddles,
Qantas.
I’d like to receive that letter, I really, really would.
Thanks again for the lovely flight. The bag of mixed nuts and free coke was to die for, and I’m still raving about that toastie I had on the way home …
Yours,
John Dawson